


of familiarity, longing, and home

by onigirikita



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26541295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onigirikita/pseuds/onigirikita
Summary: In a new city that was unfamiliar and different, Sakusa Kiyoomi– someone who took pride in being prepared and knowing every possible outcome –was scrambling for some sense of familiarity in this foreign phase, whilst doubting his own drastic choice of moving in the process.
Relationships: Iizuna Tsukasa & Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 61





	of familiarity, longing, and home

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as some sort of my interpretation about Sakusa's big move to Osaka and his tendency to always be prepared for anything. I hope you'll have fun reading this!
> 
> This work is a part of **Sakusa Week 2020** for _Day 1_ , with the prompt **"Happy + Home".**
> 
> **Trigger Warning** : None.

There were no stars decorating the night sky of Osaka.

Sakusa knew about this before he moved here. Osaka was very much like Tokyo, in the sense that the city never slept– skyscrapers were always lit, bright and illuminating every corner of the city, while cars never seemed to stop roaming around, specks of yellow and red moving in straight lines. Life that flowed in here was constant, making this city alive at any time. So, of course the light pollution was high at night. 

Sakusa knew about this, yet that doesn’t stop his hopes from breaking, anyway. For bitterness to settle in a heart that was already longing for some familiarity. Growing a sense of disappointment in him because familiarity couldn’t be found here. Not in a city that imitated his hometown so perfectly, yet it was so different from Tokyo at the same time. Not in a dorm that was loud and dirty, a total contrast to the family home that he’s lived in for years. Not in teammates who don't value his personal space, in strangers who were too friendly and warm to him from the very start.

Everything about Osaka was foreign for Sakusa– too many things were unknown to him, and this fact made his skin crawl in uneasiness. He was someone who liked to know about what he was facing in life, to be prepared for anything that will be thrown at him. But moving here meant that he needed to start from zero: to learn everything from scratch, to blindly face this uncharted territory without any prior knowledge.

And yet, this was a decision made on his own. To sacrifice the comfort of familiarity back at home to explore new possibilities. To grow stronger with this new team and defeat his ultimate rival. To be independent; to be his own self.

He glanced up towards the sky, bleak and dreary. There were no stars. The moon was barely visible from where he was standing on the balcony.

And yet, this was his own decision.

_And yet–_

“I never reckoned ya as someone who stays up late, Omi-kun,” The voice came from nowhere, crashing the doubts in Sakusa’s mind and successfully shocking him out of his thoughts. His eyes, wild and dazed from the scare, met warm brown eyes that gleamed with a hint of teasing and _familiarity_. “Sorry for scarin’ ya. Didn’t think ya were the type to get scared, too.” The person raised his arms up to his chest in meek surrender, and the genuineness in his apology was carried in a sweet, delectable voice.

Sakusa’s shoulders visibly relaxed when his mind registered who was talking: his teammate, Miya Atsumu. Someone _familiar_. A somewhat blessing figure in his big move– even with his annoying and brash attitude that often grated at Sakusa’s calmer, quieter personality –because they’ve met before, albeit only for a short time. But they’ve met, and Atsumu is _familiar_.

The setter entered the balcony, leaning a good distance away from him on the railings. His eyes, too, were locked onto the dull sky, and under the flimsy yellow lighting of the balcony, his features were softened– eyes rounded into something akin to longing, Sakusa realized. He found himself peering a little longer into Atsumu’s eyes after that, and somehow, the pinch in his heart lessened when he did recognize his own emotions in those brown eyes. He wasn’t sure what Atsumu craved for, but he longed for something, and that fact eased his heart because maybe, just maybe, he might not be feeling this alone.

“Never thought you’d be able to apologize sincerely, Miya,” Sakusa shot back, any signs of emotions disappearing as he pulled his walls up like he does his mask. The air felt constricted under the three layers of fabric clinging onto his face, but he’d rather use this than have Atsumu catch him in such a vulnerable state: feeling like a lost kid in a new phase of life, somehow yearning for the comfort of his bedroom’s glow in the dark star stickers to sparkle in front of his eyes; for actual stars to show themselves in the plain sky, to pry him away from his doubts about finding _familiarity_ here. 

No, Atsumu shall not see him weak like this; shall not know that he found comfort in him.

From the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Atsumu’s smile. His eyes were distant now, like he was caught in a nostalgia about a fond memory. This should have raised the first red flag in Sakusa’s mind, because Miya Atsumu– the shallow, self-centered bastard of the team –was willingly exposing his emotions and vulnerabilities for Sakusa to witness. But nothing in his mind went off, and as Sakusa watched Atsumu’s lips move, he belatedly realized that he was, perhaps, looking forward to what he had to say.

Because whatever Atsumu said might be lethal for him, but they can also be the remedy to his longing. Because maybe he realized that Atsumu has seen the worries seeping into his face, and whatever he might say could potentially cure his doubts.

“Ya can’t see stars here, Omi-kun. Too much light pollution n’ all,” Atsumu started, his pointing finger raised up to twirl around the cluster of buildings around the area, explaining it like only he knew of this fact. Sakusa’s protest of _I know, I studied astronomy in university_ died on his tongue as Atsumu spoke again, “Ya should come and visit my hometown, Amagasaki– it’s a short train ride from here! The stars there are really pretty there, Omi-kun. Betcha’ll love it there.”

The blunt invitation startled Sakusa– this was _not_ something that he’d expect for Atsumu to say. None of his words made any sense to him now, and yet Sakusa found himself melting along with the warmth of Atsumu’s voice.

And yet, Atsumu effortlessly saw through his worries, becoming that burning star that Sakusa desperately needed; the one who would set ablaze his worries, letting the gust of wind carry its ashes to the sky.

_And yet–_

“Why?” Sakusa breathed out, his lungs carrying out worries about _familiarity_ out into the open. Atsumu accepted them all with his smile, knowing yet never pointing, before he replied, “We’re friends, aren’t we? Maybe ya wouldn’t think of me as so now, but at least we’re partners in this team. If ya like stars so much, I can show ya a place where ya can clearly see them.”

Atsumu’s brown eyes somehow turned into a honey-like color under the yellow light, and they were visible enough to show an underlying message that Sakusa was, at this point, sure he wasn’t imagining: _if ya need me, I’m here._

Sakusa chuckled, the sound muffled by the surgical mask that he wore, but it reached Atsumu’s ears just fine, eliciting a wide grin from him.

“Sure, Miya. Maybe I’ll take up your offer if you could practice decent hygiene.”

“Hey! I _do_ that, ya know. I’m trying to be nice here, Omi-omi!”

Perhaps if this was the small taste of familiarity that he was going to get, then Sakusa will take it.

*

“Someone seems happy these days,” There was no hint of teasing in those spoken words, just an observation simply said out of curiosity, “Does that mean you’re settling well with the Jackals, Sakusa?”

The grimace on Sakusa’s face earned a few snickers from his old teammates– Iizuna Tsukasa, his former captain, and Komori Motoya, his irritating but nonetheless loveable cousin. His laptop screen showed their faces twisting into amusement, and somehow, seeing them made Sakusa’s heart feel light– like the longing to see them have been cured. But the glare in Sakusa’s face only softened for a moment.

“I guess you could say that,” Sakusa whispered, his mind now preoccupied to replay the events of his teammates’ antics in them.

There was Meian Shuugo, the most tolerable among them all– he respected Sakusa’s privacy and boundaries, and he has a habit of washing his hands right after he arrived somewhere. Oliver Barnes came second, he always asked for high fives whenever Sakusa felt comfortable to do so. Inunaki Shion and Adriah Thomas were tied, because albeit he was civil with them both, Sakusa caught them about to have sex in the communal area of the dorm, and that was a big _no_ for him. Yet what they did both couldn’t outshine the offenses that Bokuto Koutarou has made on his hygiene checklist: he only showered _after_ practice, he washed his water bottle _once_ a week (“But it’s to save water, Omi!” Bokuto had defensively replied), and he kept fan gifts without disinfecting them first. He was a kind man, but needed more practice in hygiene.

And then there’s Miya Atsumu– the unexpected star in the sky that helped him to relearn about familiarity here. He was still as arrogant as ever, yet he was seemingly on a one track mind to embarrass himself with his own words and behaviors. That side of himself felt more tempered whenever Atsumu was with Sakusa, showing instead a bold gentleness to help him adjust. Rough hands guiding him to see every inch of Osaka, soft lips encouraging him to socialize because _the other players won’t bite ya, Omi-kun,_ and warm eyes determined to make Sakusa feel like all of this could be home, too.

Sakusa wasn’t quite sure about what made him happy. Perhaps it was because he’s starting to get used to his new life– something that he craved so badly around four months ago. Maybe it was because of the familiarity growing again, about the return of his sense of control and the comfort he derived from it. Or it could be that Sakusa was starting to feel like Osaka and the Jackals could be a home for him.

“W-What?!” Komori shrieked, the sound loud enough to make Sakusa’s ears rang, “Who are you and what have you done to my cousin? Since when does Kiyoomi show emotions as easily as that!” 

Iizuna hummed, his smile turning into a teasing one by the second. Sakusa doesn’t like them at all– it always meant mischief from his senior, and Iizuna never held back whenever he felt like it, just like Komori, “Then, did Atsumu-kun make you happy, Sakusa?” 

Well, there was that possibility, too.

Of a teammate making him feel this way, simply because of his relentlessness to make Sakusa happy, to make him feel like home, even though he wasn’t obliged to do so. Someone that he considered as a partner, or a friend he was in a good mood to call their relationship that. Lovers, if Sakusa let his thoughts linger on without denial shooting them down in an instant.

A person with the name Miya Atsumu.

The howls elicited from Komori and Iizuna felt distant, like a muted sound that played along as Sakusa realized that, perhaps, Atsumu does make him happy. Made himself familiar enough for Sakusa to grasp, enough so that he wasn’t just a person now, but a place, too; a home.

He sighed, exasperation teetering at the edge of his breath. In just four months, Sakusa realized that he’d given that much power to Atsumu. _And yet_ , he doesn’t seem to mind it one bit.

“Yeah, maybe he does.”

*

To Sakusa, the definition of home was never strictly tied down to one, single place. Home was a definition born from a sense of familiarity that made him feel safe– a must in wherever he chose to live in his life.

And yet, as the years go on, Sakusa realized that home could be a person, too: someone to share your happiness and sorrows together. And how familiarity could be found in a strong embrace, witty banters, punchable smirks, warm brown eyes that held affection, and tuft of blond hair that begged to be played.

He soon realized, too, that home could be found in one, Miya Atsumu.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you enjoyed reading it! Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Come talk to me on **Twitter** : @onigirikita


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